Swimmers and tomatoes

I KEEP TRACK of some high school buddies via Facebook. The other day, Mark VanderKlipp was watching the Olympics and bemoaned the fact he didn't have a swimmer's body.

Really, who does? Swimming is one of those grueling sports where it takes years of training and dedication. My niece, Natalie, is doing quite well in Arizona and is one of the top swimmers in the state. She spends hours and hours in the pool and obviously has to love it.

Swimmers are great and I respect what they can do, but I bet they never did tomatoes off a speeding boat in Lake Michigan. I say we should make an Olympic sport of it.

This happened one summer in the mid-1980s. I was hanging out with my buddy, David Wilkins, and we headed to a campground near the shores of Lake Michigan somewhere. I distinctly remember Mark and his twin brother, Mike, being there. We piled onto a boat and headed into the water, and somebody said, "TOMATOES!"

I'd never heard of this. The boat got up to speed and you simply jumped out, hopefully hitting the water at the right angle so you didn't break your neck. Why it was called doing a tomato I will never know - it might have something to do with the whole Dutch repressed Christian Reformed Calvinism thing. That's what I use to pretty much blame everything that happened in the 1980s.

I remember doing it and nearly breaking my neck. You had to jump sideways and enter with your legs straight so you'd plunge directly into the water, not at an angle. I was sore for days after.

Really, this wasn't the smartest thing to do, but hey, we were Dutch and CRC, and some things you just can't help.

Imagine if this was an Olympic sport. "Michael Phelps is going after his seventh medal at the Rio games!" the announcers breathlessly announce. "There he goes! The boat is going 55 miles an hour! He's straight up! He's straight down! No ripple in the water and boom he's at least 30 feet into the water! He's done it! I can't believe I just used another exclamation point!"

Yes, Olympic swimmers are chiseled specimens who do incredible things. But I highly doubt they've ever done tomatoes.

So we have that going for us. Which is nice. And I'm still sore, 30-plus years later.

School memories

TODAY IS THE first day of school in Quincy. That means lots of Facebook posts with photos of kids. Why anybody would ever want to embarrass their child on social media is beyond me. I've never plastered pictures of Emily on Facebook. Ever. Honest.

My cousin, Natalie Hart, posted a great blog about her memories of her first day in high school. She used the word "exorcising" in the title. I have no recollection of my first day in high school. None. I've tried to exorcise most of my high school memories, and largely succeeded.

In high school, I was a Geek. NOT a Nerd. 

By the time I entered 10th grade, it was my third school in three years. We moved from London, Ontario, to Grand Rapids, Michigan, and things were very different. I was a skinny geek with no social skills and no clue about life in general. Thankfully I did make friends, but I can remember maybe 10 or 15 people from my class, and that's it.

I got bullied and shunned. I suppose it's about the unfairness of life, and how you cope, and all that crap. Whatever. So I've blocked a lot of it out. I do remember graduation and the immense sense of relief I was done. Little did I know I had four or five more years of institutionalized learning to go, though college was much better.

I survived high school by playing sports and staying awake in class, most of the time. Now some names and faces are coming back, and I'm smiling a little bit. Gosh. I was so young and dumb, really, really dumb.

I have great respect for teachers and administration in our schools. My daughter got a great education in Quincy. There are so many good things about our school system. And your experiences are largely about what you make of them.

Good luck on the first day of school. I hope the memories are positive.