The missing toilet paper

  I HAD SOMETHING terrible happen to me in the past week.

No, it wasn't being filmed by a creepy guy leaving Pride. No, it wasn't getting sunscreen in my eye as I was about to play a lead part yesterday at a Prospect Road show. No, it wasn't getting run over or cut off on US 61. That happens almost every day.

It was running out of toilet paper when my sister stayed with me.

Charys is from Denver and was with me and Coco. My other sister from North Carolina, Kathy, was here as well with her daughter, Brooke. I put Kathy and Brooke up at an amazing little Air BnB just a few blocks away. That way we all had room and we wouldn't run out of anything. They had a blast.

A week ago Saturday afternoon Charys announced we needed more toilet paper. No problem! I'd been to Sam's Club recently and bought a massive bag, because everything comes in massive bags from Sam's. Actually, Massive Bag From Sam's would be a great name for a band.

 I went upstairs to find the bag. I always keep it in the small office room. It wasn't there. I checked across the hall in the big storage room. Nope. The guest bedroom? Nope.

Ok, Ok. Don't panic. It's gotta be in the laundry room. 

Nope.

Panic. I have my sister staying with me, and she's female, and I'M OUT OF TOILET PAPER. Bleep me! The Massive Bag From Sam's is not only releasing its debut album, it's also AWOL.

I know it's here and I'm wracking both of my brain cells and I know I'm going to save the day. 

Nope.

Charys, of course, saves the day by "borrowing" a role of toilet paper from the Air BnB. I gave the Air BnB owner a five-star review and the owner was happy with my sister and niece, so apparently the owner doesn't know about the missing TP.

The family heads home. The next day, I'm in my lesson room. I'm looking for a guitar. I open the closet door.

And there is the Massive Bag From Sam's. 

Who kind of birdbrain puts his toilet paper in his lesson room with his guitars? Why would he do this? And why can't he remember doing this? WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?

That's the eternal and ultimate question.

Anyway, Charys laughed herself silly when I told her. She's used to her brothers misplacing things and getting lost. We are our mother's sons. And that's pretty much it.

At least I have enough toilet paper to last until the next Hart sisters visit - if I can remember where I put it.