Every day is Black Friday

SHERYL AND I are rolling all four eyeballs between us at the insipid "Black Friday" deals as the Christmas season approaches. Can't our advertising geniuses come up with something better?

Then again, we are all sheep led to the slaughter when it comes to Black Friday. Sheryl calls us "Sheeple." We can bitch and moan about businesses being open on Thanksgiving Day and at 4 a.m. the next day, but guess what? We are all in line. Well, most of us. I refuse and I will never do an early morning Black Friday again, since I was scarred for life 16 years ago doing a story for The Whig.

I'm so glad a local auto dealership has Black Friday deals all month long. I'm so glad the big boxes on Broadway are doing the same thing. So glad.

Here at Fifth and Maine, we've come up with a brilliant advertising idea. Every day has always been Black Friday here. We have low prices and great deals all the time. Looking for an amazing Breedlove acoustic guitar or Ibanez electric? Hey! It's Black Friday every day, especially today! You won't have to line up at 4 a.m., either. And you get four free lessons at Vancil Performing Arts when you buy an instrument at Second String Music. All. Year. Long.

You can't beat that, or beat up the idiot next to you who just jostled you out of the way to get that amazing Christmas present.

Friday is just a day. Actually, this Saturday is Small Business Saturday. Just pretend it's Black Friday and skip ahead. Or back. What? Now I'm confused .... screw all this silly Black Friday business. We have great stuff every day, and that's all that matters.

If you take that attitude, you'll get to sleep in the day after Thanksgiving, too.