Tuesday, June 17, 2025

The beach and how to celebrate

 

THIS IS ANOTHER post for family. It's about a sacred place and how to remember. 

No funeral for me when I go, please. Have a party and tell stories and let the rivers of beer flow, if it floats your boat. Scatter my ashes into Lake Michigan. Or the sandtrap at No. 17 at Westview Golf Course, since I'm in there a lot anyway.

I made the trek north this weekend to meet up with old friends and celebrate the life of Peter Hart, my uncle. He lived for 20-plus years on Lake Michigan between Saugatuck and Holland. It was the scene of countless adventures, sun-soaked days and family gatherings. We scattered my mother's ashes here, and my brother's ashes too. Peter moved four years ago to Holland - his big house on top of the wooded dune was a beautiful place, but it was big and my Aunt Helen especially wanted something with less maintenance.

 Peter died Dec. 26, 2024, in his Holland home. He didn't want a funeral. He wanted his children and grandchildren to gather at the beach and scatter his ashes. Before he died he contacted the current owner to get it arranged. He just wanted a "beach day."

And that's what we got Sunday.

It was warm and windy, exactly like a thousand other sun-soaked summer beach days when he lived there. His son Roland and his wife, Amy, were there with children Elly, Drew and Josh. Peter's daughter Natalie and partner Richard were there with Natalie's son Will and daughter Hannah. Helen of course came down those 100 steps to the beach with no issues - she looks great and was so gracious.

We laughed and remembered. Roland and I played a few songs - Imagine by John Lennon, Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For by U2, Blackbird by the Beatles and Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen. Hannah and her amazing voice gave the songs life - Peter loved to hear her sing them during our many jam sessions on the porch and by the fire pit.

Natalie read a prayer by Rev. Richard Rhem, edited for the occasion by Helen. Then we scattered ashes, each going to a place in solitude. 

That was it. We trundled back up the stairs and gathered at Roland and Amy's Zeeland home for burgers. Simple, to the point, poignant and appropriate. Uncle Peter led a fascinating life and was not a simple man, but the way we remembered him was, and it worked.

We all have different ideas about the end. Some seek tradition and order to put us in the ground.

Nope. Not me. I want to it to be just like we did for Uncle Peter. No funeral, not even a grave site.

Scatter 'em and have a party!


 

 

 

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