The missing toilet paper

  I HAD SOMETHING terrible happen to me in the past week.

No, it wasn't being filmed by a creepy guy leaving Pride. No, it wasn't getting sunscreen in my eye as I was about to play a lead part yesterday at a Prospect Road show. No, it wasn't getting run over or cut off on US 61. That happens almost every day.

It was running out of toilet paper when my sister stayed with me.

Charys is from Denver and was with me and Coco. My other sister from North Carolina, Kathy, was here as well with her daughter, Brooke. I put Kathy and Brooke up at an amazing little Air BnB just a few blocks away. That way we all had room and we wouldn't run out of anything. They had a blast.

A week ago Saturday afternoon Charys announced we needed more toilet paper. No problem! I'd been to Sam's Club recently and bought a massive bag, because everything comes in massive bags from Sam's. Actually, Massive Bag From Sam's would be a great name for a band.

 I went upstairs to find the bag. I always keep it in the small office room. It wasn't there. I checked across the hall in the big storage room. Nope. The guest bedroom? Nope.

Ok, Ok. Don't panic. It's gotta be in the laundry room. 

Nope.

Panic. I have my sister staying with me, and she's female, and I'M OUT OF TOILET PAPER. Bleep me! The Massive Bag From Sam's is not only releasing its debut album, it's also AWOL.

I know it's here and I'm wracking both of my brain cells and I know I'm going to save the day. 

Nope.

Charys, of course, saves the day by "borrowing" a role of toilet paper from the Air BnB. I gave the Air BnB owner a five-star review and the owner was happy with my sister and niece, so apparently the owner doesn't know about the missing TP.

The family heads home. The next day, I'm in my lesson room. I'm looking for a guitar. I open the closet door.

And there is the Massive Bag From Sam's. 

Who kind of birdbrain puts his toilet paper in his lesson room with his guitars? Why would he do this? And why can't he remember doing this? WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?

That's the eternal and ultimate question.

Anyway, Charys laughed herself silly when I told her. She's used to her brothers misplacing things and getting lost. We are our mother's sons. And that's pretty much it.

At least I have enough toilet paper to last until the next Hart sisters visit - if I can remember where I put it. 

 

 

 

Steve Homan - a bad videographer

 I'VE NEVER HAD a personal issue with Steve Homan. 

Until now.

Homan regularly spews noise at city council meetings and fancies himself as a hero in the MAGA world, a man of the people exposing government fraud and waste. Apparently he has a podcast. He's quite the dashing figure and has a lot of Facebook friends.

I make a habit of ignoring him, and ignoring people like Steve Homan makes them upset.

Sunday, at Pride in the Park at Clat Adams Park, Homan went on Facebook and live-streamed from a parking lot across the street. He had running commentary about the people coming and going to the event. He didn't like it. He called the people in the park "idiots."

Pride in the Park is an  LGBTQ event and started maybe four years ago. I've played at it every year. The first time was when Cori Powell-Green asked me to play at it with her. I loved it from the start - the whole park is filled with joy and acceptance, not judgment and vitriol. So call me an ally. And there's other very personal reasons for doing it, but I wouldn't expect you to do your homework, Steve.

A friend sent a short video clip from Homan's live-stream. I'm not going to post a link or show it. It's just not worth it.

It shows my vehicle leaving the parking lot. "Rodney Hart, just leaving there," Homan intones with authority. "He was their entertainment for 15 minutes or whatever. Rodney Hart is a big leftist liberal in Quincy that promotes all this nonsense, driving away right there."

First of all, work on the shaky hand holding your phone, Steve. I got a little motion sickness watching my nice Jeep leave the parking lot.

Secondly, what kind of person does something like this? How full of hatred and ignorance do you have to be? And ... is it just creepy? Or is this what you do now in our social media world?

Steve is not that bad of a guy, really. It's not like he's ever been in trouble with the law, or tried to run for office but had a small clerical issue, or has a section devoted just to him at Muddy River News called "Steve Homan Archives." Nah. Not that bad at all. 

Steve, you were half right about the length of my performance, which is twice as right as normal. It was 30 minutes. And I was one of several musical acts. Just so you know.

Leftist liberal? Well, I've been called much worse. But I've never been a member of either party, and have no plans to do so. Ever. I've voted for Republicans and for Democrats. I don't like our president, though I think some of his ideas are not bad. I keep politics off my social media and I try not to get sucked into all the crap going on in this wretched world.

You might be surprised to hear some of my very conservative social and political views, and, gasp, we might actually agree on some things, Steve. Not that I'll ever bother to share them with you.

Here's the difference between you and me, Steve. I'm not consumed. I don't feel the need to point out how awful certain people of certain political or sexual persuasions are. I'm a live and let live kind of guy, Steve. Maybe you should try it.

I actually think what you did recently in organizing the Charlie Kirk vigil in Washington Park was fine. I wasn't there and I don't know that much about Charlie Kirk. I do know violence of any kind is not the answer and his murder was a terrible thing. And I'm not comparing your vigil to Pride, other than they were both peaceful gatherings. 

Then again, I wasn't standing at Fifth and Maine live-streaming everybody coming and going.

No doubt Steve's ears are steaming now, since I'm sure he'll be reading this. In case you want to dig up dirt on me, go right ahead. There's stuff out there and sure you can find it. I've flunked out in life many times.

Here's the last thing, Steve. You will go ballistic when reading this, and say all kinds of nasty things about me. 

I. Don't. Care.

Live and let live, Steve. It's the way to go. Not that you'll ever do it.

 

 

An outsider family view of Quincy

MY TWO SISTERS and niece visited Quincy this weekend. Now I need to sleep until Wednesday.

Charys is from Denver. She's been here a few times, including the epic 60th birthday party last November. Kathy is from Raleigh, N.C. Her daughter, Brooke, lives in the same state in Wilmington. Kathy and Brooke have wanted to see me play in one of the million bands I'm in, and we finally figured out a good weekend.

Make that an amazing weekend!

They arrived Friday night and went to Tiramisu for dinner while I finished up at work. On Saturday we went on a long cemetery walk, had the usual over-the-top breakfast at Thyme Square, and they went to the Maker's Market while I napped.  

Allison McElroy and I played Saturday late afternoon at the Maker's Market, which is a massive (for Quincy) vendor bender. The Sixth Street Promenade looks amazing and the place was packed Friday night and all day Saturday. 

We were right across the street from Seoul 2 Seoul. The vibe was righteous - tons of people milling around, quite a few people hanging out to listen to the music, and good weather. The Hart girls soaked it all up and were quite amused with the constant banter between Allison and I, and the many people walking by.

Look. When you live in a place for almost 30 years, and you are out and about in public most of those years, you meet a few people. That's really all it is.

Oh yes. The weather. It was good. Until the end.

The wind started blowing and poor Allison had to grab onto the small tent we were under. Then the rains came, blowing in sidewalks. soaking everything. Fortunately we were almost done.

After dumping everything off at the house to dry out, we headed to the one and only Monica Scholz's house for a garage jam session. Chris, Nick and Ben Scholz, Joe Desmond and I made the noises. Monica, Allison and the entourage sang along. Glorious! The Hart sisters and Brooke were again amazed at the vibes created by music and laughter.

 Sunday afternoon we went to the Quincy Pride event at Clat Adams Park. It was again an honor to play at Pride, this time with Allison singing her heart out as usual.Then we got to see a bit of the drag show entertainment and the Hart girls and Brooke again loved it. 

This is the part where I could say something about ignorant and angry aldermen and other people who would rather stunt themselves with hate. But I won't. Let's just say I really appreciated our mayor, Linda Moore, for being there and making sure everybody was welcomed and felt valued.

Charys, Kathy and Brooke headed back to the St. Louis and eventually to home. After a good cigar session at Lux and running errands, I spent the rest of the day in a football coma and grateful for family and friends.

The Colorado and North Carolina impressions? They love Quincy. They loved the food, the music, the people. They like the small-town charm and the history. They think most everybody here is friendly and glad to see them. Maybe it's because they were basically around my environment - of course it's not always like that here. Of course we have challenges. 

But this is home, and it's good.

We don't hang out that much. So family time is treasured. And I hope we get to do it again in The Q!

 

 

Bye bye summer - hello fall chaos

 GEESH - WHERE DID the summer go? We had a bunch of fun gigs and rock and roll recovery sessions the past few months. And it's just as crazy as September kicks in.

It starts tomorrow afternoon at the Adams County Fair for the Adams County Bicentennial celebration. The Whatevers have assembled as a full band and play on the WGEM stage around 4:45 p.m. until 7. Lots of great local bands, food and the headliners are Gretchen Wilson and Montgomery Gentry. See you at the fair!

 So .... the official schedule is below. All dates subject to change, of course. Support live music!

Saturday, Sept. 6

The Whatevers - Adams County Bicentennial Celebration, Adams County Fairgrounds, 4:45 to 7 p.m.

Sunday, Sept. 7

Private solo show, Douglas, Mich.

Saturday, Sept. 13

The Whatevers (Allison and Rodney), Quincy Brewing Company, 7-9 p.m.

Saturday, Sept. 20

The Whatevers (Allison and Rodney), Sixth Street Promenade Makers Market, Quincy, 5-7 p.m.

Saturday, Sept. 27

The Whatevers, private party, Mendon Ill.

Saturday Oct. 4

Prospect Road, The Pour Haus, Quincy, 7-10 p.m.

Saturday, Oct. 11

Prospect Road, private party, Quincy

Friday, Oct.  17

Prospect Road, private party, Quincy

Sunday, Oct. 19

The Whatevers (Allison and Rodney), Ridgeview Winer, Camp Point Ill., 2-5 p.m.

Cats and tall grass

 IN QUINCY WE have issues with property not being maintained. Out of town landlords or homeowners who don't care are the main culprits.

The city recently took a guy to court and spent thousands cleaning out his junkyard, which was also his backyard, and it sparked great debate. It also got an alderman mad at a media person and the Junior High Joes came out in force. Geesh. I hope the media person is OK and didn't get her feelings hurt.

Calftown Cornfield is a great band name.

Just down the alley is a house with a backyard that has turned into a cornfield. I am not making this up. There is corn growing in the backyard. Big, tall, green and yellow stalks of corn. It makes you want to jump up and down and report the property.

"Wait. Don't jump up and down," said Taylor, one of my outdoor alley cats who lives in my garage.

"Yes. That's where we go, you know," said Bigsby, her brother.

 Taylor and Bigsby took over my backyard as kittens a few years ago after their mother decided to move in. Mom is long gone and so are two of their siblings. But Taylor and Bigsby are still here. They got fixed through the awesome Quincy Cat Coalition program, and they spend their most lazy and unproductive lives with no chance of reproducing. 

Man, are they happy.

I put a litter box in the garage but they don't use it. Most of the time they do their bidness by a plant in our backyard, and they cover it up. But the other day I spotted Bigsby all they way at the end of the alley in the cornfield.

"Yeah, well, I like to be discreet. Nobody can see me when the grass and corn are that high," Bigsby said.

Next to the cornfield is a pile of wooden pallets. A momma cat recently had kittens in a nearby garage and the kittens love to play in the pallets. And it's probably not a wild assumption they all do their potty stuff in the cornfield next door.

Eventually the city will come and chop down the weeds and corn. Maybe they can harvest the corn and use the proceeds to subsidize a fixing potholes program. But my cats will not be happy, and there will be one less place for them to potty.

"Disgusting," the Junior High Joes say. "Letting your cats run around and go to the bathroom wherever they please. You should be ashamed!"

Nah. Cats will be cats. And they will adapt, even after the Calftown cornfield harvest.

 

 

 

 

All construction all the time

 QUINCY IS A rocking chair community - just go back and forth on the porch on a nice summer night at a nice smooth pace.

But don't rock too slow. Or too fast. We like it nice and smooth, with no interruptions or challenges.

Right now, driving around Quincy is like rocking too fast and too slow at the same time.

Broadway has been a mess all summer. Now it's from 24th to 30th and it's dangerous to drive that stretch. My advice? Don't. 

See? We are back to rocking nice and easy.

Unfortunately I have to navigate 24th and Broadway about 5:30 every night to pick up labs from the Blessing Employer Clinic. There is a back way but it's a one-lane alley and not really safe. Last night I was trying to turn east onto Broadway from 24th, but the line of vehicles heading east was so thick and long that it clogged the intersection and it took three light changes to finally turn left. And I still cut right in front of a vehicle that ignored the red light heading east.

I avoid Broadway even when it's not being torn up. I will not tell you the best ways to avoid it. Then my little side trips get clogged with traffic. The easiest way to navigate the east-west Q-Town drive is to take Maine Street.

The bridge project on Harrison east of 24th and Cherry Lane being closed by 12th are huge pains. So was Oak between 22nd and Broadway until it finally opened earlier this month. 

But ... we all complain about the bad roads and sewers failing. Then they get fixed. And we complain some more.

So I have some patience and just figure out other ways to get around. It's not like I drive for a living or anything.

Wait. I DO drive for a living.

Never mind. I'll just get there in one piece and eventually everything will be fixed and we will all live happily ever after. Except on Broadway.